It’s not sadness. I am not sad that you are gone. I am scared. In the instant your absence was real, I couldn’t escape myself. I am filled with a fear that I can not be who I want to be. I am filled with the shame of responsibility. I’m the fool on guard to the nothing that takes me over. You won’t be there for me. You won’t save me. I can’t fight off the cruelty of this truth. I’m so scared.